Join The Revolution
Vladdy Coin is the hope that brings peace to the galactic federation. Finally something not just for the oligarchs, it will be available to all people. People of different beliefs and of one certain truth. The metaphysical is upon us and we can no longer be collectors of diseased paper bills. The death must stop. Fiat must not be controlled by the select few for war and suffering. Its is time for the people to own the coin. Let them gladly control their very own Vladdy.
The Legend of Vladdy
Donny was in his new Northern conference room, which looked less like an office and more like a gold bar exploded inside a chandelier factory. Across the table sat Vladdy, sipping tea like a man who’d just annexed the concept of “calm.”
“Vladdy,” Donny began, “we’re going to make the biggest deal in history. Tremendous deal. People will call it the—what’s bigger than tremendous?” “Glorious,” Vladdy said, straight-faced.
“Right. The Glorious Tremendous Listening Exercise.” “Ha! The whole world will hear it!”
The door swung open, and in stormed the SuperPAC Family — a mostly clandestine clan who have been rumored of spending more fiat currency on their weekends than most nations’ annual GDP.
Barrún wore a suit stitched entirely out of $100 bills (fresh ones — the smell filled the room). An Anonymous young lady walked in with a fabergé egg inside of three Gucci handbags (each bag inside of the other) in a Louis Vuitton suitcase (just in case). Ivúnka was livestreaming the meeting to 4 million Iranian TikTok followers while trying not to blush at Vladdy jr who was kindly disguised as security. “We heard there was a deal,” Barrún boomed. “And where there’s a deal, there are babies to make and money to obliterate.”
Donny grinned. “You’re gonna love this. We create a thousand dollar bill backed by—wait for it—paper notes. Limited editions. My face on everyone. Very collectible.”
Vladdy’s eyes narrowed. “And Russia controls supply chain.”
The loving kin didn’t care who controlled anything. They just started swiping metal credit cards so fast the sound was like a Gatling gun in a jewelry store. By the end of the meeting:
- Donny had sold naming rights to the moon for $8 billion (“Donny Moon: The Best Moon”).
- Vladdy had quietly acquired Alaska again (“Don’t worry, we’ll lease it back to you by Tuesday”).
- The descendants had accidentally purchased two nuclear aircraft carriers and were on their way to convert them into floating shopping malls for the future generations.
As they left, Donny leaned to Vladdy. “How soon tell they know fiat currency is just a made up thing”
Vladdy smirked. “Whoever won’t miss fiat has no heart. Whoever will want it back has no brain.”